One week to go....Week 47

I can't believe I now only have one week left in Swaziland. This past week was a good week. I did a lot of preparing notes and the files of the girls for our next year long volunteer. I am starting to realize that next week I am heading home and it has given me more of an appreciation for the time that I have with the girls, the other volunteers, etc. I am definitely taking everything in and trying to enjoy the last days I have here. I mean I am really excited to come home and see everyone. But it is definitely a bittersweet feeling. I spent a whole year with these people. They are my second family and it will be hard to leave them!
 The girls are doing well. They started back to school this week and I think it is good for them to get back into the swing of things and it gives them something to do. Things with Tenele are going well. She went to visit her mother this weekend. So it could be the start of rebuilding their relationship. I had a few struggles with our young girl, Sindi, 9 years old. She is learning to follow rules and know her boundaries. I think she didn't have any of that in her life and it is a struggle everyday for her to follow rules and listen! She has definitely tested my patience and I am learning to love her even though she pushes my buttons. Actually, I have really been relying on my past training to work with her on her behavior! It is challenging but I know she doesn't know any better and this whole thing of rules and boundaries and personal space is all very new to her. It is definitely making me grow too. I have one week left and feel like I have a lot to do but am hoping to enjoy my time here before I head home. Prayers for a good last week and a smooth transition for when I come home and for the girls as I leave would be great!

God takes care of his children! (Week 46)

Tenele's story continues. I've written in past blogs about Tenele, but in case you've missed out on them, I will recap. She is one of the girl's in the home, who's had a rough life. She has a child who is almost 18 months and after moving into the girl's home we found out she is pregnant again. The initial reaction from Manzini Youth Care (MYC) is that she can't stay in the home with the baby, meaning she can't stay in the home. The suggestion was that she move home with her mother. So, this week we've had 3 meetings. The first was with the counselor that Tenele has been going to see. She shared that it would be destructive to Tenele's emotional and mental state to send her home. She didn't grow up with her mother and she isn't used to the life out in the rural areas where her mother lives. We concluded that she wouldn't stay with her mother but we needed to talk with the mother and set up a meeting to discuss possibilities of other relatives or what could be done to help Tenele. After this meeting, I was feeling very discouraged and upset about the situation and how it was being handled. There was no compassion in the decisions being made. So, I decided the only thing I could do was pray for God to soften their hearts. That God would make Tenele's situation very real to them. I prayed they would feel the pain and rejection that Tenele felt. The next day we had a meeting with the girl's home board and discussed more the possibilities of what could be options for Tenele. I felt a little better after this meeting, knowing that they weren't going to send Tenele home and I started to see compassion and concern for Tenele. God was truly working through this whole situation. So I continued to pray. So, then on Friday the mother came to MYC. We had the counselor and a Swazi from MYC meet with her. It went very well. God was definitely present in this meeting. I learned the other side of the story from the mother and we finally came up with a plan that seems to be the best for the situation. Tenele will stay in the girl's home until she has the baby. She will then go to a shelter who helps mother's and their children. She can stay there for 6 months. It will give her the guidance and help she needs to be a good parent. After the six months, the mother has agreed to take Tenele's newborn baby and Tenele and her child now, Lucia, can return to the girl's home! The plan obviously wasn't what I had thought but I think it's the best plan for her. I think she needs guidance and direction in her parenting. She is young and it will be good to be with other mother's in similar situations. She can then come back to the girl's home, go to school, and work to create a life for her children. God was in this situation, he had everything under control. There were many things through out this decision making period that worried me and I was very nervous for Tenele's future but I just had to keep reminding myself that God is in control and he will redeem his children! He will take care of them. I just need to be willing to do and go wherever he calls me!

Week 45....3 weeks until home...bittersweet feelings!

This was the girl's second week off school. We didn't have the holiday program so they had to find some things to do. On Monday, Jan and Julius, the two german volunteers, came and worked on the garden with them. They finished planting their first vegetables and I think they are very proud! It will be awesome when they will be able to harvest them. They won't have to buy them at the store or the market, they can just go out to the side yard and pick their vegetables. Also, we played some games, which was a lot of fun! Then on Tuesday, Riita, a finish volunteer, came and spent the night with the girls. The girls loved this. Riita taught them how to crochet and did their nails. They had a great time! Wednesday was a relaxed day, they didn't do too much. I had a meeting with some people at MYC about what is going to happen when I leave and before the next volunteer comes. It went well for the most part but there is still a struggle with what to do with Tenele. She is due in June after I leave and before Mary-Kate and the group come at the end of June. We are having a meeting this coming week with the counselor to see what we can do. The whole situation is really wearing on me and I am so tired of fighting with them. When Riita stayed over she asked me the next morning if I knew I grind my teeth. I never have done that in the past and I think the stress of this situation and what's at stake for Tenele is really getting to me. I just continue to pray that God will work things out! I am working to trust him and give him all my burdens and stress! It's a work in progress!
Then, Thursday I was at the volunteer house because it was Riita's last day before returning home. We had a nice dinner for her. On Friday, a few girls went to counseling in the morning and then in the afternoon, Titi, a Swazi friend I met the first time I was here, came and visited the girls for the afternoon. It was nice to have her there and she may in the future help out more in the transition of volunteers! So overall, the week has been good for the girls and they are enjoying each others company and really becoming a family! I love being apart of their lives and will really miss them when I leave in 3 weeks. 3 weeks! I can't believe it's that close. It still feels so far away but I know time will go so fast! I think that is another reason I am feeling stressed because I know that I only have 3 weeks to do all that I need to do before I leave! But I know God is faithful and everything will go the way he has planned it. I just have to remember to trust his plan not mine. 

One Month to go (Week 44)

This week was a pretty simple week. The girl's were off school and we had the holiday program for them to go to. They could do art, watch movies, play games, etc. It was a long week for me though. I spent most of the days with the kids and then had to go home and not have much down time to myself. I really realized the importance of my alone time to recover and re energize. Also, this week I struggled with feeling alone at the home and realized it more than the past weeks how isolating it can be. There were a few arguements between the girls this week and I could tell they were arguing but it was in Siswati so I wasn't completely sure what was going on and it took forever for them to tell me what was going on. It was really frustrating because I wanted to be able to help them solve it because it wasn't happening on their own and no one would explain the problem. I haven't minded them all speaking in Siswati before when things are good and they are joking. It's been good to hear them laughing and having a good time but when they are fighting and it continues without  resolve, I just felt really helpless and very much an outsider. It has been a rough week emotionally for me I think, with feeling like an outsider and knowing I only have a month left. I am really anxious to come home and see what God has for me at home. I've been thinking a lot about what I am going to do when I get home and I have all these different ideas but I know I need to just trust God and for the time being be focused here in Swaziland. I only have 4 weeks left and need to put all my effort into these girls and helping them to continue to adjust to living with each other and to help with the transition from when I leave to when the next volunteer comes. I know God continues to have things in his control but it is hard to let go and let him work (no matter how many times I have to let go of something it's never easy). But God will work everything out just how it was meant to be. And I am trusting in him to do so!