This week was kind of a difficult week.
We got back from Cape Town on Sunday and Monday were right back into
things, the office is still closed until the 14th of
January but there is always plenty to do. Since I've been back, I've
been feeling out of place and maybe even feeling a bit attacked. I
know the girl's home is opening soon and so I think things may get a bit harder before then. I think satan has been trying
to discourage me and take away my joy this week. This week was rough emotions
wise. I had to fight every day to remind myself why I am here and who
God is. I had to fill myself with the truth to combat the lies satan
was telling me! Overall, the week went well activity wise. We
had a holiday program for the youth in the area. We played soccer,
showed movies, had an art room for them to draw and color, and other
things. It went well and the youth loved it! We did that
Wednesday-Friday from 11-4. On Wednesday, I got a call from Betty, a
volunteer, recommending a house mother. She gave me her number and I
called her and set up a meeting for Friday. On Friday morning, I met
with the lady, she seemed nice, smart, had experience working with
girls before and had a 10 year old daughter. She had shared that she
had some struggles in the past year but that she was doing much
better. I feel like she is a good option. So I told her I would call
her on Monday as she needs to meet with some other people on the
girl's home board to be interviewed. However, after I met with her I found out information from a
relative that I shouldn't hire her. I think this is one thing I have to let God in control of. On first impression, I feel good about her but sometimes people can fool you. I am still going to have her meet
with the girl's home board and see what they think. I don't want to just disregard because maybe God wants to use her in the home. We will see how things go when the board meets with her. I am trying to let God be in control of things but it is more difficult then it seems!
I've been telling people all week that
I'm doing well and things are good but I'm really struggling right
now. This is actually really hard for me to admit and write in my
blog because I don't want people worrying about me at home, and I don't
like to admit that I may need some help. I'm a pretty independent
person and asking for help means I can't do it on my own and that I
have to give up control of the situation (as I stated above). And God has been showing me
how much control I like to have and how I need to let go and let him
move. So on the one hand this week has been hard and emotional with
wanting to be home and feeling lonely and out of place but on the
other hand, God has showed me how much I need to stand apart from
this world, how I need to let go control of situations I can't do
anything about (like things with the girl's home at the moment) and let God move. I did a lot of praying this week to
God for guidance and strength and even though it doesn't feel like
it, I know he's got everything under control and I don't have to
worry. He'll take my worries, my burdens so that I can be free of
them! So, I would really love prayers for everything that is ahead in
the next 4 and a half months before I come home! I want to let God use me to the fullest while I'm here. I don't want to come home with any regrets!!!
“Come to me, all you who are weary
and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and
learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find
rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
-Matthew 11:28-30
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