Week 25....Preparing for Christmas

Since the office closed last Friday, I thought this week would be a little less busy and relaxed, but it wasn't! Monday-Wednesday I ran around with another volunteer helping with the boys and checking on the kids. We took one boy to SACRO, a organization to help/rehabilitate young crime offenders, he stole some phones and then stole some money from out of a car, so he needs help before he gets sent to prison for stealing. We took some children to SWAGGA for counselling and we checked on the orphans whom we had placed at our orphanage last week. They are doing well and are happy at the home. On Thursday, we started to put together the gifts for the kids. We got a bunch of donations and then we went out and bought a few more things for the children. We have 93 kids in our care so we had to organize and put together everything for 93 gifts. It will make for a long day on Saturday of wrapping gifts! On Friday, we took the older boys, high school and trade school age, to Mlilwane Game Reserve. We swam, played soccer, and had lunch. It was a great time, minus the fact that I am now really burnt haha. But I think the boys really enjoyed their time and i'm sure it was great for them to get out of town for a little while. I really enjoyed the day being able to hang out with them and get to know them better! This weekend, will be filled with wrapping Christmas presents and getting the meal together for Christmas day for the boys who weren't able to go home for the holidays.

This Christmas will actually be my first Christmas away from home. Since we've been so busy I haven't really had time to think about the fact that I won't be home. We will be busy up until Christmas and then we will have a Braii/BBQ on Christmas day with the children, so my hope is that beause I'll be busy I won't have time to think about not being home for Christmas. However, I would appreciate prayers because I think it will be hard even though we have things going on. I know that God has me here for a purpose and things with the girl's home is coming together but times like these, holidays, special events happening, etc. make me miss home a lot. So prayers that I would be present here with the children would be appreciated! I hope you all have a blessed Christmas and a wonderful New Year! ( I am headed to Cape Town, South Africa for a week or so with some of the other volunteers the day after Christmas for a little vacation. So I may not be able to post a blog until I get back in January.)

God protects the widows and ORPHANS! (Week 24)

I talked last blog about three orphans that we had found. Well this week was me and another volunteer basically trying to find out how to help them and give them a safe place to stay! On Monday, Betty, a volunteer, and myself went and did a home visit to the children's home. They were staying with a neighbor the last time Betty had met them but since then they had returned to living on their own. They lived in a one room house with a bed and a little table. They had a little bag of food, no electricity or water. So we took them to the office. We talked with Alban, MYC's social worker, and he said we had to go to the Social Welfare Department in Manzini. So I went with the children and tried to talk with them about the orphans but they had an emergency they were dealing with so we had to come back the next day. So we went back to the office and I had to send the kids home to nothing. We gave them food and bus fare home but I don't know if I've ever felt more helpless in that moment. If I was in America, those kids would've been in foster care right away. On Tuesday, I went back and talked with the head of the department and he told me to bring the kids back with him on Thursday so he could talk with them. So that is another two days of them on their own. So after lunch on Tuesday, Betty and I took the kids some food to last them until Thursday. On Wednesday, was a relaxed day. I was in the office all day and really just needed a day where nothing stressful happened! So, finally on Thursday we took the kids to the social welfare department. The 3 kids were interviewed by the social worker, he wanted to check all the facts, just in case anything got mixed up because of the language. Their older brother also showed up to verify facts and be in on the decision of how to help the children. The brother has some sort of mental health instability and only has jobs here and there so he was unable to take the children. So through all of the conversation and all the facts being verified, the social worker decided that these children needed to be placed and asked if MYC was able to take them in. We shared the plan with him that they could stay in McCorkindales, our orphanage over the holidays until the kids who went home started to return and when the girl's home opened the two sisters would move there and the boy would move to one of the boy's home that was closer. The brother was okay to have them in care and for them to be together. Once the holidays are over we will need to return to the social welfare department and inform them of our plans for the kids. So once we received their approval of placing the children, we had to return to MYC office and talk with our head of social welfare. After, explaining to him the situation and him sharing the difficulties of bringing in more children he finally agreed to bring the children in to the orphanage. So they were placed there on Thursday afternoon. It was such a huge burden off my shoulders to know that they would be safe. The whole week was a real test for me. We had to go through the steps of the system and be patient with how slow everything works here. It was a huge challenge to not worry about these kids and be able to give them over to God and know that he would protect him. I didn't really have a choice though. I had to trust that God would take care of them because if I didn't I would have been a wreck! He really gave me peace about the situation and giving it to him was the best thing I could have done! It was a great end to the week.

Lastly, on friday, I went and saw the girls home. It is coming along and pretty close to being done. I am having some of the older MYC boys help paint and help outside. So it was cool to go see them working on friday and see how far along things are going! 

Some of the boys painting.

Bath tub becoming a shower.

And things keep moving along...Week 23

This week was pretty good. On Monday, three orphans came into the office looking for help. I interviewed them, gave them some lunch, and then Alban and I went to see the pastor who had been helping the kids out. Both parents had passed away. Their mother had passed away in March. They had been getting food from the church. But the oldest girl, who is 14 years old, is the one caring for her younger brother and sister. Since we only take in boy's right now we are working to find a temporary place for them until the girl's home opens so the two girl's can stay there and the boy can stay at one of the boy's homes. We could have our first two potential girl's for the home, which is exciting, but obviously their situation is not one you want any child to have to be in! On Tuesday, we had a girl's home meeting to figure out more about the logistics of how the home will run, who the house mother will be, etc. We also worked on a budget for donors from Germany who are giving money to the project. It's been exciting to see each week how things get closer and closer to having it open and me moving in there! On Wednesday, I went to this program at the Hope House, a hospice center, where our Marimba band performed. It was the first time I had seen them perform! They were awesome!!! :) On Thursday, I took one of the boys to the hospital/doctor because he had gotten kicked in the hand and our nurse thought maybe it was broken. But thankfully it wasn't, he was given pain pills and a sling so that it would help with the swelling! On Friday, I went to the girl's home to see how everything was going. It is starting to look so good! The left side of the house is basically finished and the right side they are almost done tiling the floor. They are also working on removing the bathtub and making it into a shower! We're almost there! :)

I am really excited to get into the home and start doing what I came here to do. But as it gets closer, I get more and more nervous about how much responsibility I have and it becomes overwhelming to me. But I have to keep reminding myself that this is God's plan and he wouldn't put me in this situation alone. He has been giving me what I need and will continue to do so when I move into the girl's home. I just need to trust in Him. It's not through my own strength but through HIS!!!!

Taking that bath tub out and putting a shower in.

Re-tiling the floor on the right side of the house.

  

Week 22

The wall just needs one more coat of paint
 and it's finished  :)

I apologize in advance for this entry, it may not be very detailed or flow very well. I have a cold and my brain is kind of foggy so I am having a hard time thinking about this past week and writing this blog so it makes sense! I started writing about 3 or 4 times and I'm not really sure what stood out to me about this week or if anything eventful really happened. I got sick on Wednesday, so in the afternoon Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I just relaxed and watched movies and had a few visitors come visit me, which was nice. I worked on girls home things this week as well. One morning, we painted the girls home, I worked on job descriptions for volunteers and social workers. I went to Enjabulweni at the beginning of the week to collect the last of the pen pal letters with Mary-Kate's students. It's been a good week but also don't feel like anything jumps out about this week. However, on Wednesday, I had a meeting with Titi and Marcia, two of Mary-Kate and my friends about how to help Tenele since she's been kicked out of her mother's home. We are going to see Tenele on Sunday and she what she needs, if baby Lucia is up to date on her vaccines, if maybe some weekends she wants to spend at Titi or Marcia's home. They aren't able to have her full time but they want to help her and make sure Tenele knows she's loved and supported in caring for her daughter and herself. She's only 18 years old and she needs all the support she can get. So if you could pray for Tenele and her future and for us here around her just to know what to do next and how to help her succeed, it would be greatly appreciated! I pray that God continues to work in her life and all of our lives and leads us in the direction we are to go!

One of the workers breaking up the tiles to put new tiles down.

Busy, Blessed, and Broken-Hearted

I don't even know where to start. I'm sitting here on the bed, while Mary-Kate is packing, contemplating how to steal her passport so she can't leave! Haha, Actually we are really contemplating how we managed to fit in so much stuff into one week. It felt like we did more in one week then I've done in the whole 4 months I have been here. It was actually really awesome! We started painting the girl's home, spent time with the kiddos (Ayanda, Johannes, Tenele, and Andile), went to the school MYC has called Enjabulweni to hand out pen pal letters from Mary-Kate's students in the States and have the kids write letters back, and we bought other material for the girl's home so that the workers could continue to work. We did so much more as well! Here are just a few events that really stuck out to me this week:

1. Just having Mary-Kate here all week has been wonderful! She has such a love for these kids that just rubs off on you! She truly shows Christ to them. She showed Christ to me this week! I know it was good for her to come and spend the week here in the place she loves, but it was such a blessing to have her here and to share this passion for these kids and the girl's home. She is such a go getter and it truly motivated and encouraged me to keep pushing on and to do what I need to when she is gone! I have a pretty long to do list and I am so excited to get these things going so that the girl's home can be open by the end of January!

2. We spent a number of hours at the school through MYC, Enjabulweni. Working with the boys homes I haven't had much interaction with the girl's in Swaziland but going to the school some the week before Mary-Kate came and then while she was here gave me the opportunity to build some relationships with some of the girl's! It was actually really cool to see how they open up to you and share their lives with you by simply taking the time to listen to them. It was just cool to invision what it might be like when the girl's home is actually open.

 3. I really realized my love for these kids (Ayanda, Johannes, Andile, Tenele, and Lucia, Tenele's daughter) this week and how hard these kids have it. I saw Tenele's Mom kick her out of the home and tell her that this life wasn't for her and that she was a whore. I saw an interview with Ayanda where she smiled the whole way through trying to keep herself from crying while she talked about her life. Also, I saw the silence of the boys, being strong and hiding their feelings and needs from those around them. Lastly, I witnessed them experience rejection by someone who they thought cared about him. One of them even asked if that person hated them. Their pain became ever so real to me this week. Yet, living through all of this they all have such wisdom about life. I seriously sometimes wonder: Where does all this wisdom come from? These kids have much more wisdom and even joy then I do! I've learn so much from them and I am at least 5 years older then them if not more. Just with all the events that have happened and with what they've gone through in life they know so much more about life then I do! I used to think that I could teach them something being older but no they have taught me so much more than I can ever teach them about life! I am truly blessed to have them in my life and to be called their Auntie!!! (Mary-Kate is their mom!) 

The main room where girls will eat and study

4. Last but not least, the girl's home! I feel like so much was done at the girl's home this past week. We got to paint, the toilets were put in, the showers were tiled, and the main room was tiled. So it is coming along and we have an open date for January when the office reopens! So pray that the open date doesn't get moved back so that we can start having girl's move in and start out at a new school at the beginning of the year!

painting :)

Love Week 20

It's funny how God works sometimes. I'd shared in a past blog when I had been sick and God just revealing my selfishness and lack of love for people through that. Well I think God is definitely changing my heart. He has been filling me with his love this week. He's being revealing his love to me as something I can freely accept. I am reading through the psalms and the ones this week have been all about how God is faithful to his people and how his love is great. And then I read a dear friend of mine's blog, Mary-Kate, about being broken and how the children here in Swazi and in America all want the same thing. They want to feel wanted, worth something, and loved (I think that is most people's desire whether we want to admit it or not). Sunday night we had a camp fire with the younger boys at the Enjabulweni home. I really enjoyed the evening and you could tell the boys did too! They just want to be loved and know that someone cares about them. And having something as simple as a campfire and spending time with them is all it takes. It astounds me sometimes how easy it is for people to just write off these boys as trouble makers or pests or having no future, which then makes them think they have the right to treat them like they are worthless. But these boys are so full of love and joy! They remind me almost every time I spend time with them how much love and joy for life I lack! It was just an encouraging week and crazy just how God has filled me with his love for these boys! Yes, they can be a handful but that's what makes me love them more! They are creative and use the resources they have around them to make games or art. For example, one of the other volunteers told me that they made a golf club out of sticks and were using a ball of some sorts to play golf. They use bricks as their soccer goals and were playing soccer with a half flat basketball. And they don't complain about it! This is their life and they are living it the best way they know how! They are such an encouragement to me and makes me want to be more like them!

The workers finishing up the storage cage.

On Wednesday, we had a girl's home meeting to discuss the roles of MYC verses Hosea's Heart. It went really well and when Mary-Kate, co-founder of Hosea's Heart, arrives on the 17th, Saturday, we will have another meeting to finalize the roles and have a legal document drawn up just in case anything were to happen. It seems like Hosea's Heart will have a good amount of say on what goes on and the home can be generally run how the volunteer present wants to, which for the time being is me! :) They want the home to be run by volunteers with Swazi houseparents. Hosea's Heart will provide the year long volunteer each year. Below are some pictures of the continual work on the home. We are said to be opening the home towards the end of January when the schools are back in session!!!! (That is when I will move into the home as well.)

The Study/Dining Room floor being retiled!

Trusting God-Week 19

This past week was busy! Here's just a little run down of my week: Monday we tutored in the afternoon some of the older boys. I helped some of them with English which was cool. Then, Tuesday two of the older boys came to the office because they had left school and needed to bring adults with them when they returned back to school because of the things they had done. The first boy had threatened a kid because he gave him money for a phone but he never got the phone. So, the school was going to handle it but wanted us (MYC) to be aware of the situation. The other boy who had come to the office told us that the principal grabbed his ears and punched him in the stomach for no reason. Though, we found out that the boy was late. When we talked with the principal he stated that he was just joking around with him wanting to know why he had been late to school. The boy is a shy, quiet boy and doesn't normally get in trouble. The principal though was quick to defend his actions and make sure we knew he had done it “jokingly.” However, the principal seemed to really be defensive about his actions and we hadn't brought it up. So, after our conversation with the boy and then with the principal, the boy apologized for being late and for anything else he may have done and the boy was able to go back to school thankfully! Then, Wednesday and Thursday I worked on writing up a Child Protection Policy for MYC. Wednesday afternoon, I helped tutor the older boys again and then in the evening I helped tutor the younger boys. Which was so much fun! I really enjoyed it! It's been nice to have more interactions with the boys and have some of them come and hang out with me! Thursday evening, I went to a bible study, which was really good! We talked about Colossians 3:1-17. It talks about focusing on heavenly things verses earthly things and clothing ourselves with love, tenderhearted mercy, etc. It was really good to be reminded that I am here to bring glory to God and do his will. I shouldn't worry because God has everything under control! He will give me what I need to accomplish his will! It was a really good reminder. The rest of my week was spent in the office and then just relaxing this weekend! This morning in church the pastor talked about having the power of the Holy Spirit and trusting in God. I thought it went right along with the bible study and with how I have been feeling lately! God has really been giving me what I need to hear and using my fellowship with Christians to speak to me! It has been really nice finally starting to have that connection and support with what I am going through spiritually!
The girl's home is coming along. Most of the kitchen is done the bathroom is close to being done, the ceiling and roof are done, and they were working on the floors for the main area and the bedrooms. It is exciting to continue to see the transformation! 

The pretty much finished kitchen!!!! :)

The ramp is now complete :)

        

Blessed (WEEK 18)

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One of the workers fixing the roof !!

This week was a good week! I felt productive and busy and just had a positive attitude overall this week! I worked on reports this week for the boys who didn't have birth certificates! That took up a bunch of my time because you needed to go through their files and get information on them and then write the report, which then goes to the Social Welfare Department in Manzini for it to be processed and passed on to the right people. It was a lot of typing and reading but I actually enjoyed it and learned more about each kids situation as I did it. Also, several afternoons this week, one of the younger boys would come to the office and visit me! He and I made paper airplanes and other paper things one day, played cards another, and read a book. I believe he is the youngest boy in our care at Manzini Youth Care. He is a cute little boy but he would stay with me the whole afternoon then walk home with me! It seriously made my week a lot better being able to interact with him and spend sometime with the kids. We didn't get to tutor this week because our car broke down the end of last week and it wasn't fixed until Tuesday morning and then Wednesday when we went there was no one there. But it gave me time to work on some things for the girl's home. I wrote an article for Manzini Youth Care's website that will be posted and I made an agenda of things that need to get done and need to be decided. So in the next two weeks we can have a meeting to decide how things will be run. The girl's home is starting to look better and better each time I go! It was cool to see all the changes since the last time that I had gone and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel finally. There is still much to do but it seems to be finally moving along at a steady speed. However, saying that, we are working on transferring the money that has been raised in America to here because currently MYC has used all it's funds here to renovate the home. Hopefully, we can get the money from the States to here and they can continue to work!

The Kitchen

On another note, this Wednesday I went to a bible study held at the home of an american couple I met at church. It was such an uplifting time! It made me feel very blessed to be apart of it. There were 3 Americans, a South African, a Swazi, and a lady from Zimbabwe. It was really cool to talk about the bible and have discussion with others who grew up in a different culture than I did. It was really encouraging and God really blessed me with the opportunity to join them. So hopefully I can continue to be blessed and go every Wednesday!

WEEK 17

On Monday, this week I got to go to the Social Welfare Department to meet with the head guy to go over what MYC had been doing with the guidelines from the government and talked about how to get birth certificates for the kids who don't have them yet. So for the rest of Monday, I worked on figuring out who needed birth certificates from our homes and helped write letters to the government with the details of the child's situation as apart of documents we will need when filing for a birth certificate. On Tuesday morning I did that as well but I started not feeling well and ended up being sick from Tuesday afternoon through Thursday! It was similar to the past sickness I had the first month I was here. I had some stomach issues. It was not as bad as the first time but it still was not fun. I didn't really start eating anything until Thursday. You learn a lot about yourself when you are sick. How much you can handle, what kind of sickness you can handle, how you are with other people when your sick, etc. I am not a good sick person. I don't like being sick (not that I know anyone who does) and I don't like doing anything when I'm sick! So God took the opportunity to teach me some things in my sickness. One of the biggest things he taught me and I have a really hard time sharing this because I like to say I'm not but I've been a pretty selfish person at least in my thinking if not in my actions. It's one of the things I've been working on putting others before myself. It's hard sometimes when everyone around you is telling you to do what is best for you and don't worry about anyone else. So it was an eye opening experience for God to show me how my motives don't always line up with my actions. I may do the right things sometimes but my attitude isn't always in line with what I am doing. God just really made me see how much more productive I would be if my attitude and my actions were in line with each other. 

For the end of the week, on Friday, when I was able to go back to work, I continued working on the birth certificate letters. I was unable though to make it to the girl's home because of being sick and then our volunteer car broke down. So hopefully next week I'll be able to post some more pictures of the progress of the home!  

Some rest and relaxation (week 15 and 16)

 The past two weeks a lot has happened and at the same time not a lot has happened. To begin two weeks ago on Tuesday Johannes had a doctor's appointment on with a heart doctor. The doctor did a ct scan and x-rays of his heart and he said it was completely fine and healthy. He shared that Johannes was having panic attacks and that is why he was passing out and so he gave him some medicine to take and said if he is still having problems after some time and he doesn't have any more pills that he can come back and get more. After the doctor's appointment, Johannes and I talked about why he was having these attacks and he didn't share a lot. He said he didn't want to be a burden to anyone and didn't want anyone to worry about him. I tried to encourage him and let him know that it's okay to share what's going on and that if he doesn't share what he's feeling his situation will only get worse. I know what it's like to not want to share your feelings with people, just ask anyone who knows me, I did not share what I truly felt for a long time! I was a pro at hiding my true feelings. So for me hearing him say that he didn't want to bother anyone or have anyone worry about him or that it doesn't really matter, hit home with me and I realized that I had felt those thing at one point in my life too. But how to help him realize that it only gets better once you get out everything into the light can be a hard thing to do. I guess really all you can do is be there to support him and remind him that whenever he is ready to share you are there for him. So that's what I did. So just pray for him that even though it is scary to open up (and he's shared that it scares him) that it could really help him to get better. He doesn't even have to share with me but just that he knows people care about him and he can trust someone enough to share what is on his heart and what is troubling him would really help him out!

Onto another part of the past two weeks: on Thursday, October 11th, all 6 of us volunteers living in "The Palace" took a trip to Durban for about 5 days! It was so wonderful and relaxing. I didn't realize how much I needed to get away and how stressed I had been until we were there and I started to relax. God is a God who provides (Jehovah-Jireh). He knew what I needed way before I even realized it! It was really nice to sit on the beach and enjoy the ocean and the beauty of where we were staying! We were right off the beach so we had a beautiful view and it just was extremely peaceful there! I loved it! It was exactly what I needed when I needed it! We returned to Swaziland on Tuesday, October 16. The rest of the week I worked and not much excitement happened.

Lastly, the girl's home is continuing to move along slowly. It rained really hard on Tuesday night (10/16) and flooded some of the rooms in the house because the ceiling needs fixed but it looks like it didn't do any damage and they were already working on fixing the floor anyway. So, slowly but surely it continues to move along. I am starting to work with MYC and Mary-Kate is as well to come up with the roles of who will do what and be responsible for what when the girl's home is opened so it gives me a little more to do to help get the girl's home started! 

The kitchen floor being redone.

The ceiling of the porch.

The hardest one yet....Week 14

Eish! This week was one of the hardest weeks since I've been here! Johannes, a 19 year old boy who I met 4 years ago when I was here, has a heart condition, which I don't fully understand. This week he passed out twice. I took him to the clinic the first time and the hospital the second time. It took him a while to wake up and respond to the nurse/doctor. Once he woke up, he was groggy, really thirsty and said his stomach hurt. After sometime he would be fine and back to his normal self. One of the doctor's at the hospital said things at home are affecting him and that's why he is having these issues. In other words, his home life is putting too much stress on his heart. So, this week has been rough! I struggled a lot with not knowing what to do or how to help him. I've been praying and he definitely needs prayer. But I felt useless otherwise. He's a great kid, smart, funny, and has great potential! It's been scary for me to have the kids and even adults looking to me to know what to do! It's a lot of pressure to have someone's life in your hands. Obviously, I wanted to help and do whatever I could and be there for him but to be the one to make the decision on what to do is scary! But, I found that since no one else was doing it someone had to step up. Even though I was terrified and would have gladly given that responsibility to someone else, God was there with me and used me even though I felt so inadequate! "And he said to me 'my grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.'" 2 Corinthians 12:9. Looking back on this week, He's the one who got me through. He gave me the support of my housemates. After taking Johannes to the hospital on Thursday night, I had to run home to get the paper that had what medicine the clinic had given him. When I got home, I broke down, Michelle, a volunteer at the home, offered to drive me back to the hospital! She was a really great support by just being there. Knowing I had someone there to support me made me feel better. Also, knowing that those in the States were/are praying for Johannes is a great support. On Friday, Musa, a Swazi friend, took Johannes to get a passport, birth certificate, and an ID, so that if Johannes needs to go to the doctor in South Africa for better care he can go! Johannes looked much better on Friday! He was happy and just overall looked like his normal self. I know he could be fine one minute and not the next but it was nice to see him smiling and enjoying his day! It was a good way to end the week!
On another note, the girl's home is slowly coming along as I've said every other week! But progress is progress and I get excited to go and see each week more of what they have done. I know God's will is in this project and he has great plans, we just have to wait and be patient. I have to serve him in the time of waiting in whatever way that may be. So, even though this week was hard and I wouldn't want to go through it again, I know God had a purpose for it and I have learned a lot through the experience. I have to trust that God has everything in control!

(our internet at home isn't working and the pictures of the home are on my computer. I will post pictures later of this weeks progression. They have finished the ramp and have started working on the kitchen.)

Continuing to Grow (Week 13)

They are almost done the ramp!

I can't believe it is the end of September already! This trip has been going by so fast and before I know it I'll be getting ready to go home! This week has been a pretty good week. Two teachers at the primary school run by MYC were away in England and so I was asked to help teach English in one of the classes. So each morning I went and taught Grade 6 English. It was a lot of fun, not something I'm great at, but it was a lot of fun. The kids were actually really good for me and made me feel good when they asked me to stay and not leave. They are fun kids and have a lot of character! On Monday and Wednesday afternoons, myself, and two other volunteers from Germany, tutored some of the boys in Grade 6 and 7. I tutored in English. It was difficult at times because sometimes it was hard for the boys to understand what I was saying because of my accent and theirs. They pronounce words differently then I would. So it was a bit of a challenge but it worked out. I enjoyed having more of a set schedule this week and loved interacting with the boys and getting to know them better! So on another note: great things happened in my life at home this week! I have a new niece and nephew! My niece was born on Wednesday and my nephew on Friday. It was quite a challenge not being home for these events! It actually was really hard to be away. But I got some great wisdom and encouragement from my sister who's in a similar boat as me, being away from home! She shared that He understands understands how I'm feeling and to wrap myself in the love of Christ. Also, to remember that anything we sacrifice for the kingdom of God is totally worth it. " But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14. Which is so true! I know I am exactly where God wants me right now and I know his plan is so much bigger and better than my own desires. So I have to trust that He knows better than me and if missing the birth of my niece and nephew, though I wish all the world that I could be there and am very sad that I missed out, is what God wants me to do then I have to be here and be present and not let my feelings take away from my experience here! So it has been another week of God teaching me more about myself and changing me into who he wants me to be! Lastly, the girl's home is slowly coming along.Currently, there are only two workers working on the home. I was told at the beginning of the week that they are going to try to have more workers there so that the work will go fast and the home will be done sooner! Let's pray that , that will happen so that we can start serving these girl's!  

The True Vine (Week 12)

They are working on building a ramp up to the porch

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” John 15:1-2. This verse has been the underlying theme in my time here in Swaziland. In the first month the verse came up a number of times and since then it has been at the back of my mind. Well this week God has definitely been working in my heart and showing me a lot about myself. We weren't very busy at the beginning of the week and I had a lot of time to think, which sometimes isn't really good for me! So Monday and Tuesday were a struggle, I felt unproductive, not helpful and felt like I wasn't doing anyone good just sitting there. I was fed a lot of lies about how I can't be doing anything, that I'm not one to come up with ideas, I just let others do that and I just follow their lead. But God had a different opinion. One of the days I was walking to work and just thinking about these things and God was like Christina, you are a leader! I've created you to lead not follow. I couldn't even make excuses, I heard him plain as day. It made think how I was living in fear and afraid to step out and do things or take the initiative because I was afraid of failing, because I have always been a follower in most cases in my life. So, it's a work in progress, praying against the fear and letting God lead me to do what he wants me to do. The rest of my week was busy. Since school started on Tuesday, the kids got their reports from the last term so they came to the office to review them. So we went over their reports with them and set up times for them to have tutoring if need be. I interviewed a new boy who came to MYC because he couldn't pay for school and he was living with his sister due to both his parents passing away. One of the questions we ask when we do the initial interview is what is your current goal, he stated it was to continue schooling! He's a 13/14 year old boy and he wants to go to school! It was just sad to hear his story but gave me hope that he desires to learn and do well. We have to meet with him and his sister before anything is decided. Then on Thursday night, I had a conversation with a good friend about religion. It was a really hard conversation to have. It really got me thinking about what I believe and why I believe it. He doesn't believe in God and so we talked about what he believes and what I believe. It made me think but it made my faith in God stronger. The next day everything I looked at I saw God in. It was really cool. Even though the conversation I had with him was hard and I didn't always have the right answers, in the end it was a good conversation. It gave me a deeper sense of what I believe in and who God is to me and how he has used me in my life. On another note: the girls home continues to progress and is slowly coming along! It excites me to go and see every week how much they have gotten done, even if it is just a little! I know God is continuing to prepare me to work with these girls and I pray that I will be open and willing to the pruning and changes he is making in my life! (Sorry if my thoughts were scattered!)  

No Power But Plenty of Hope (Week 11)

So this has been a crazy week, with the power going on and off. Every night for dinner this week we've had to go across the courtyard to the priest's extra kitchen to make dinner. As you read in my last blog, this all started on last Saturday morning, we woke up with no power. It was out all day Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Tuesday it came back on after someone looked at it but he didn't fix the problem. He showed us how to turn the power back on if it went out. We had to walk across the courtyard to the electrical box and flip two switches for it to come back on. Sometimes it would only stay on for a few mins, an hour, two hours, on Wednesday it was on all evening and it was on when we woke up in the morning. But then on Thursday it went off and didn't come back on. So we were in the dark all night, with our candles. It has been an eventful, busy week with the power being in and out and many things going on at the office. There were two things that really stick out to me that I did this week besides the power. One was we, Alban, myself, and the two new German volunteers went on a home visit to one of the younger boy's gogo's (grandma's) home. We learned that the boy's mother left him with the grandmother when he was 3 months old. Since then, she wants nothing to do with him. We were told if you call her and mention the boy's name she'll hang up on you. The boy lived with his grandmother for awhile and then moved to his uncle's and grandfather and step-grandmother's home. He ran away in both places that he lived, until he ended up here at Manzini Youth Care. I was thinking about what the boy has been through and why he kept running away and causing trouble. If your mom didn't want you and gave you away and wanted nothing to do with you wouldn't you do the same thing he was doing. I can't imagine how that boy felt, to not know why his mother didn't want him, maybe he blames himself. It just made me realize how much pain there is in the world and how selfish I can be. We haven't had electricity all week and it seems like such a huge deal when really it's not. This boy has a mother who doesn't want him. That is way more of a challenge or burden then not having power in our home.
 On another note, the girl's home is making progress! It is still a slow process but it is moving along and that is what is important! Before going to see the home this week and with the power out and going to the home visit and hearing about the boy's mother, I was feeling kind of hopeless, not sure what God was wanting me to be doing right now and feeling like things were just not going the way I thought they should be going. God is good at making sure I know I'm not in control but he is! So I was sitting in the office, not having much to do and so I asked God, what do you want me to do right now? I've been trying to listen to his promptings more often and ask because it's easy to get so caught up in everything around you that you forget to ask God where he may want you. So, after asking him, I got this urge to go see the girl's home. So, I wasn't doing anything and I went. When I first got there it looked the same except a hole was dug on the outside for the ramp to be built. But the door was wide open and so I walked in and two of the guys working on the house were there and things were being done! It was such a surprise for me and I was filled with hope that this thing might actually be on it's way and might get done in plenty of time before I head home! There was a room off of the kitchen that we decided to close of the door and then put a new door coming out into the study room. They had blocked of the old door and were working on the new doorway! I was very impressed and just was a spirit lifter. I know it will be hard here sometimes and things may not go the way that I want them to go but it's not really me that should be in control, it's God. I need to put my hope in him and know that this is his plan not mine! 

A picture of the front of the house where a ramp will be built.

There used to be no door there.

Week 10

Monday we had off work because of the reed dance. A tradition in the Swazi culture where the virgin girls between the ages of 12-20 I believe come and dance in their traditional dress (which consists of a skirt type thing and no tops but they did have scarfs and other material that were around their necks) before the King and then the King picks a wife. Myself and a few others went to watch this tradition. It was a neat and interesting experience for sure. Something you really only need to go to once though. The girl's started out by parading in and dancing. Then, after a long while, the King came in with the princes and danced around and looked at the girls. Then, normally the King will pick a wife but due to international influences he has not picked a new wife in a few years. It was cool to see some of Swaziland's traditions and culture. Tuesday and Wednesday I worked with Alban and on Wednesday we had a meeting with the houseparents of the boy's homes to go over new policies that are being put into place at the boy's homes because of government regulations. It went well and they seemed to understand what needed to be done. Also, on Wednesday two new volunteer guys from Germany arrived. They are staying a year. We had a nice dinner with them. It will be nice to have a few more bodies living in the Palace (what we call our volunteer house. It's not really anything close to a palace though! Haha). Now there are four of us with occasional visitors making us sometimes 5 or 6. It is nice having a few more bodies in the home because then it's not as quiet and I have already met so many cool people from so many different places and am learning so much about different cultures, not just the Swazi culture. Thursday, was Swaziland's Independence day so we had the day off of work as well. It has been rainy here all week so Thursday we relaxed and didn't do a whole lot. Then on Friday, I took the new volunteers around to the different boys homes and showed them around Manzini. It was a nice day! Over the weekend our power went out and so we spent a good amount of time in the dark and learned a lot about how much we rely on electricity for so many things...but more on that in my next blog!  

Let the renovations begin! (WEEK 9)

This doesn't show much but there was a huge tree there so they
took it out and are now marking where the ramp will go. More
pictures to come once more is done!

The renovations started on the girls home this week!!!! Praise God! They are starting on the outside. They are working on the stairs and the porch. I went on Wednesday this week and they were building a ramp up to the porch. It will still be a slow process of getting the girl's home completed. But at least they've started! This week has been a lot about me learning to let God be in control and learning not to just do do do but to also just be. I've been thinking about all the things I have to do for the girl's home and what I need to get done when but God just kept saying to me this week, just be present. Just be here, stop worrying about everything I think I need to do because God has everything under control. This week was good though. I felt productive and got to see some of Swaziland. Alban and I went on a home visit with this group of siblings to really the middle of no where! It was 30 minutes out on a dirt road over mountains and rocky roads. It was beautiful! But it was another lesson in going with the flow of things in Swaziland. We were meant to pick up the sibling group at 10am but didn't get there until 11am. Then, we had to make a stop and didn't really get on our way until 11:30-12:00. It took about 45 minutes to get there. Then, when we got there we talked to an Aunt and we were told that the grandmother (gogo in siswati) lived further down and we could only walk there. But it was too far away for us to walk so we took the Aunt's number and went on our way. We stopped at their uncle's house as well and he got to see his nieces and nephews. He was very excited to see them. I actually was a bit cranky because it was past lunch time and I hadn't eaten and I was getting a headache but looking back it was great that they got to see some of their family and have some connection with them for the future. We ended up not getting back until 3pm. I definitely am learning a lot of patience while I'm here and to go with the flow of things because if I don't I will miss out on a lot of great opportunities!  

Choosing Joy and Courage!!!! (Week 8)

People have been saying to me “you're so brave for doing this (going to Swaziland) on your own” or “you are crazy for going to Africa for a year!” Etc. I've just kind of brushing the comments off, knowing that this is where God called me to be and I didn't have a second thought really. I mean it took me a weekend to decide if I was going to come for a year or not. But this week has been hard. I think I am finally starting to realize how hard this year may really be. How lonely it will be. It's kind of funny because this week has been really busy so you would think that would keep my mind off of it but I think being busy made it worse, it gave me less time to spend time with God and rely on him for what I need.

Here is some things I did this week: Each morning I went to their grocery store here, called pick and pay, and got their leftovers from the day before to give to the boys home. Monday afternoon my Australian friend, Leann, who is a psychiatric nurse, took me to FLAS, an organization that when the girl's home is started will be a great resource. They do HIV/Aids testing, education, medical checks, etc. So I met a nurse there who was very encouraging and when we start things up I will be able to contact to get things set up for the girls in the home. Tuesday afternoon, we went to one of the boy's home with the younger boys and made cards with them. On the inside of the card they put things they thought they were good at or things they liked about themselves, then they decorated the card. These boys loved it! Some were shy and didn't want to show you and others were proud and wanted to you to see how well they did! I really enjoyed interacting with the boys! Wednesday and Thursday afternoons we met with the houseparents. Wednesday, we had a workshop, a follow up to our corporal punishment workshop the week before. We talked about communication with the kids. It went okay. It is a slow process in changing the belief and understanding of anyone and that is how you have to take it in these workshops. You have to know that it is going to take awhile for things to change! Thursday's meeting was with Alban, who I work with, Father Larry, director of MYC, and some other guy (I can't remember his name whoops!). But it was on policies that MYC need to be following and how the boy's homes need to be run. It was nice to hear from the head guys because it was similar to things we had talked to them about in our workshop.

On another note, one of the days myself, Alban, Leann, and one of the boys did a home visit! We went to his grandmother's home, who turned out to be his grandmother's sister. The boy had lived with him for 5 years and she couldn't remember his name. She drank a lot and she couldn't remember a lot about the boy or his situation. She didn't ask where MYC was located and when the boy was asked if he wanted to stay for 2 days to see how it would go he said no. This was really hard to watch and hear. For that little boy to sit there and listen to all of this and to hear his grandmother say she couldn't remember his name and he had lived with her for 5 years. It was heart breaking!

So, with this week being so busy and feeling very alone, today some of the kids I had met four years ago came and visited me. Which was great! I spent most of the morning and some of the afternoon with them. At about 2:30 they all left but one. Ayanda, she's 16 years old. She and I hung out until about 5:30. It was exactly what I needed. She is a wonderful girl. So encouraging and uplifting, even if she doesn't realize it. She shared the story of her life with me. It was a lot to take in but it made me realize that here I am feeling lonely and other things when she has every right to feel the same thing, and I'm sure at times she does but she chooses joy! She decides that she is going to happy and share that with others! It was so eye opening and so encouraging. She is so wise and smart for only being 16! I truly admire her and the courage she has to be who God has called her to be! So, my goal for this coming week is to choose joy, to take risks, and be courageous!!!!  

Week 7

What can I say about this week? It had it's ups and downs for sure! But I think looking back it was a good week...I think! Monday and Tuesday were low key not a lot going on. I worked in the office on paperwork and such and went to McCorkindales, the orphanage affiliated with MYC. Each month we do monthly updates on the children. We talked with the children, the house parents at their home, and their teachers to see how things are going and if there are any problems that need to be addressed. So, the beginning of the week, Alban and I went to McCorkindales to interview the children and the house parents. I really enjoy going there. The children are great and it's a very family oriented place.

On Wednesday, Leann, a psychiatric nurse from Australia who is volunteering with MYC for the month, myself, and Alban held a workshop on corporal punishment and alternative ways to discipline children for the houseparents of the boy's homes and teachers. We had about 12 of them show up. At first, I felt as if it was very disheartening. I was very offended and shocked by some of the things that were said during the workshop. There was one comment that was very offensive towards white people. (I don't want to share the comment or who may have said it for confidential reasons and just it's not needed to be shared for me to make my point) It raised a lot of feelings in me that made me wish I wasn't against corporal punishment! I have never experienced that kind of racism before, where it was directly targeting me and it was very untrue to who I am. A lot of other comments about corporal punishment and beating your child were said and just surprised me. But after the meeting and after thinking it over and venting about it, I started to realize the positives of it all. First of all, this is how they were brought up and haven't had any real education about the effects of it. So, they don't know any different, one talk won't change their thinking completely. It's a process. It'll take time since it's been ingrained in them since they were little. Also, some of them were really wanting to know alternatives to just beating the children. They obviously didn't and don't have the education to know what else they could do and I saw some of them truly taking in what was said in the workshop. So even though in the moment it was very frustrating and disheartening, looking back it was a start to a change. We have two more weeks of meeting and hopefully God will continue to work in these people's hearts.

The rest of my week was stress free. I did some more paper work on Thursday. Then, Friday I started working on things for the girl's home. I am starting to think about how the girl's home should be run. What kind of things do we need in place before the girl's come into the home? What will we do when they first come? What kind of programs will we do with them when they are settled in the home? Who will be responsible for what? Etc. It actually got me really excited for this girl's home to be renovated and to get things rolling. It's going to be a lot of work to get the girl's home up and running but I know God has a great plan for these girls. I just need to trust Him and let Him lead!  

God's Love

This week was a nice relaxing week. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary or anything exceptionally exciting. But I had some good conversations and God revealed himself more to me this week then in past weeks. Maybe because it was a slower week I had more time to actually listen to what he was saying. Sunday, I went to church where this American family had shared they had been going. I met the family while the other 5 girls were here in the first month. We bought purses from her and the organization they are working for. She found out that I would be staying behind while the rest went home and was very generous and told me to call her if I ever needed anything. So I asked where they went to church and was able to go on Sunday. I also met a young couple from America at the church as well who would be here for the year. It's awesome how God works and the connections he has given me.

One of the days this past week I went to McCorkindales, which is an orphanage run by Manzini Youth Care. Another volunteer from Australia is here for the month and was going to talk with a few girls there so I tagged along. I ended up having a really good conversation with one of the older girls at the home. I believe she said she is 19 years old. We talked about life and what we liked to do and other random things. But what struck me was towards the end of our conversation we were talking about her life and I was asking her questions about her past and she was pretty open with me. She said that she normally would cry when she thought or talked about her past but God has made her stronger. She said that her past was her past and she was sharing and being more open with it and God was making her stronger. That for me just struck me hard. She had just met me and there she was sharing her life with me and testifying that God has given her the strength to deal with the things of her past and the hard times in her life. It was very encouraging and very uplifting.

The rest of my week was quiet and not a lot happened other then being in the social welfare office and doing paperwork for the boys homes, however God has been continually reminding me in little ways of his love and sharing his love with the people of Swaziland. I have been reading the book The Barbarian Way, which is a really good book. It makes you think. But it has been talking about having this untamed faith and living fully in communion with God. I've realized that I have been afraid of what God will have me do if I fully let myself be used by Him. But I need to be totally open to what he has in store because I could miss out on something that could change others lives or my own.  

Week number 5

This week went by so fast! I don't even know where to begin. I guess at the beginning of the week! So on Monday morning at 7am the five girls I came with left for home. It was a very sad goodbye but I jumped right into my day and didn't have much time to think about the fact that I no longer had a wonderful support system surrounding me. But I have found that I am still strongly supported by them and so many others! I am feeling very blessed to be here and know how many people are praying for me back home! I felt very welcomed into the other volunteer house. They have been great! So my week: it was very busy, as I said I jumped right into working with the social service office at Manzini Youth Care, which is one guy by the way. But I've really enjoyed it. It's a little different from the states but the general concepts and social work believes are very similar. I am working with the boys homes right now. Getting to know the boys and do monthly updates for them. I've been talking with the teachers as well about the boys. I am also taking some of the boys to therapy on Monday's and Friday's, which I really enjoy because I get to talk with them and with the counselor and get to know them better!
On another note: on tuesday, I took Tenele home to her mother and step-father. (I believe I shared some about Tenele in past blogs but to find out more go to Hosea's Heart website and find Mary-Kate's blog). To give a brief overview of the situation. Tenele is about 17 years old and was living with a boyfriend who didn't treat her well. She had a baby with him about 8 months ago, who by the way is adorable. So in a past blog, I talked about going with Mary-Kate to a home visit to Tenele's parents' house. From that we came to the conclusion that Tenele would return home. So on Tuesday, I had the privilege to take her home! It was beautiful thing to see how happy and joyful she was to be home and to see her mother's face light up when she saw her and her granddaughter. It made my day :)
Lastly, Friday I had a meeting with some of the people at MYC for the girl's home. We went to the home and went over what renovations need to be done. It was a very productive meeting and the home seems to have great potential! It looks like they will try to get it done in the next month or two! So I am praying that it will only take that long! In the Swaziland culture, things tend to take a lot longer then what they say it will. So prayers that the home will be a priority and get done but get done well, would be appreciated!
God is good! It has been a good week! It has been an adjustment being on my own and not traveling as a group, but as I said God is good and has give me things to do and people to connect with! I am very excited to see what God will continue to do here and in my life!

Week 4

So this past week was a good week! We hung out with the kids, went to some carepoints with an NFL player's wife (Chanita Foster wife of George Foster who was just traded to the Colts), we went on a safari, took a trip to South Africa to renew our visas to stay in Swaziland, and hung out as a team. It has been an eventful week and a very much go with the flow of things! I don't even know where to start to describe this week. It was the last week with all 6 of us here together. It was great and sad and all sorts of emotions. It will definitely be sad when those 5 wonderful women of God leave and I am still here! But God has great plans for this girls home and I am more then willing to be used by Him to do his work! So some about this week. Monday a few of us got to hang out with Chanita Foster and see the care points and school she has started over here. She is a great woman, very powerful and knows how to get things done! Then on Wednesday Mary-Kate and I went with Tenele (read Mary-Kate's blog for more information on Tenele...you can get to it by Hosea's hearts website) to her mother's home to see if she could possibly move home or had other relatives that she could move in with because where she is living now is not a good situation. Her mother and step father were very willing to have her come home so this tuesday I with the social service office will be taking Tenele home to her mother's home. Thursday we went on a Safari! It was a lot of fun we saw giraffes, zebras, rhinos, and some other really cool animals! Yesterday we had to go to South Africa and we hung out with some of the kids. It was a really good day just spending it with the team and the kids. God has really used this time with these girls to prepare me more for staying here for the year. They have been a huge blessing on this trip and I can't believe they are all heading home on Monday. Each one has had such a big impact on my life that I will never forget! I know God has huge things in store for them and I am excited to see where God takes them! I am sad to see them go but know God has great things in the states for them! I will be praying for them as they return to the states and integrate back into their normal lives!!!! And we will see where God takes me as I continue to live in Swaziland and work to get the girls home started!

Eish!!!! (WEEK 3)

Eish (ee-shh) is a Swazi expression for if something not great happens and you just react to it by saying eish. Sometimes it's used for example: some of the girls from the team and Tenele were playing a card game and Tenele would say eish when she was nervous about what the other person was going to lay down or if they were going to go out before her. I have picked up this expression, so if I were to stub my toe I would say eish. Well that expression explains my week! EISH!!!! Except for the first part of the week was really good we took 6 girls, some of them being prostitutes, out to lunch at KFC (the only American restaurant around). They were great girls and surprisingly shared a lot with us with just meeting most of us for the first time. To hear some of their hearts and their desire for help and to change was something I won't forget! I am glad I will be able to continue those relationships and be here for them when the rest return home. They will still have us supporting them even though not all of us will be here. It was also awesome to watch my teammates love on those girls! It just made my heart full to know how much love God has given them for the people of Swaziland it was a blessing! Tuesday we had a meeting with the head director at Manzini Youth Care, Father Larry, and Sister Judith about the girls home. It was amazing! God is sooo good and when he has something planned things just fall into place! In the meeting most of the talking in the beginning was Father Larry and sister Judith. They shared what they wanted in the home and how they thought it could be run and it lined up exactly with what we were thinking! It was God all the way! They are eager to get it started and wanting to start renovations as soon as possible, which is awesome because we have this joke within our team about American time vs. Swazi time. American time is fast past, on time, whereas Swazi time is slow, go with the flow and whenever I get there I get there! We are all exciting about what God will be doing here with the girl's home and know He has great plans! I know I am more then honored to be the one to stay for the year and help get it started!!!
So for the Eish part of my week....we went out to eat on Tuesday for lunch and did some souvenir shopping. Well I don't know if it was what I had for lunch or what but Tuesday night was not fun! Sorry in advance for the details but if you don't want to know you don't have to read the next few lines! ;) But I got really bad diarrhea and was vomiting! From Tuesday through Friday I can't even start to think how many times I went to the bathroom! It was a sickness I wouldn't wish on anyone, even my worst enemy! But God revealed a lot about myself through it and just the prayers from my team and my Swazi friends made me realized how blessed I am by these people and how much they have faith in Jehovah-rapha, the God who heals. Even though it was not fun to go through coming out of that sickness is so relieving! Friday I finally went to the clinic and received medication for everything! So by Friday evening I was feeling much much better! I still am gaining back my strength from not eating for 3 days but God is good and is truly Jehovah-rapha, not just physically but emotionally and spiritually! So my prayer is that You will know God as healer! That you would let Him touch your life and heal your wounds and scars, whether it may be a physical, spiritual, or an emotional scar/wound/sickness. So even though most of this week was an eish kind of week I know God used it to glorify him and teach me things that maybe I wouldn't have learned otherwise!

Week 2

This week was a rough week but God definitely did some awesome things this week too! Four out of the six of us girls got sick. Either with colds or stomach aches/issues. I've had a cold all week! And if you know me, I don't do well when I'm sick. All I want to do is curl up and sleep all day and just relax. Well, since I couldn't really do that, God definitely helped me through and I pushed through. It was for sure a growing week! But on a better note, we did some fun things this week! We went and saw the girl's home on Monday, which was exciting to see. It needs a lot of work but has great potential. We met with a girl that Mary-Kate and I had met on our first trip to Swaziland, Titi, about the girl's home and being a house mothr and maybe even helping out before the house was ready. She was so willing and so on board, we knew it was God at work. Wednesday one of my teammates and I went with the guy from MYC's social services to an orphanage and helped him with his monthly updates of the kids there. I got a little glimpse of what I will be doing for the year I'm here. It was super exciting. Thursday, we too the morning and were silent until lunch. It was time to spend with God, to listen to his voice. I reread some of my journal from the past year and a half. God has truly been faithful in answering my prayers. He has been preparing me for this trip even before I knew it! It was awesome to see how He had been working in my life. God really does have everything under control! We/I just need to trust in Him and He will take you/me where you're meant to be!

WEEK 1

Update from Swaziland: I got my bag back on Monday! Praise God for that! This has been a good week! We've hung out with kids, which I love! I played soccer with the boys some too! We talked with the organization, Manzini Youth Care, about the girls home which was super exciting. We're starting to get the ball rolling! Right now, MYC is going through a director change so we have to wait until this week to talk to the new director about more details. I'm finally starting to see what I'll be doing for the home and things are coming together. Which is awesome! I will have a lot of say and power in this project so my prayer is that God will guide me as I do His work! It's going to be a new experience a new territory but with God's guidance it'll go exactly how it's supposed to go! God has been teaching me to rely on Him this week and I just never realized how much I rely on others. It has been very eye opening to just see how God can work when you let Him in control and let Him lead!!!! Keep letting Him guide and you will do wonderful things!!!!!

In Swaziland (the beginning of it all)

So we arrived in Swaziland on Thursday. My one bag was lost when we arrived but thankfully I am picking it up today. It arrived a day after me in South Africa and had to be sent to Manzini Swaziland. I have had an array of emotions coming back. It's been so awesome to see some of the people I've met 4 years ago and to know they are still doing okay is amazing! On the other hand it has been overwhelming to think about the fact that I will be gone for a year. I have been really trying to immerse myself in the word of God and trust his promises that he has everything under control and I don't need to worry. As we've been in Swaziland for two days God has just already revealed himself to me so much. The verse that talks about the vine and needing to prune it's branches so that it can produce better fruit keeps coming to mind. I really think this is what the year will be like! A year of growing and God pruning my life and my ways! It's going to be hard and a struggle and I'm sure lonely at times but I know that I need to lean on God for my support and that His love is enough for me to get through anything! I am here with 5 others girls who are staying for a month. They have been such a blessing in my life already. They are encouraging and uplifting. They have such a passion for this mission and for God it amazes me! I know God is at work through it all and I am holding on to that truth! (because otherwise I wouldn't be able to do it!) I am excited to share with you all what God is doing! I will update my blog every week and share more about what God is doing! Let God be your guide!

Coming fast!

I have less then a month before I leave and things are coming together. I had a benefit concert May 19. I raised $500! Much more than I thought I would make! God continues to humble me with how faithful He has been and how much He has used those in my life to support me! I am truly blessed! My last day of work was May 25 and since then the fact that I am leaving for a year in a few weeks has been hitting me hard! It's a bittersweet time. But I have been working to enjoy each moment that I have with my family and friends! I am learning to enjoy each moment to the fullest! I appreciate what I have so much more because of it! God has been shaping this trip and my heart and though it is hard to leave what I know and love, I know this next year is going to be life changing and exactly what God has planned for my life! So as it gets closer to me leaving I invite you to pray with me for God to continue to prepare me and the group going with me, praying for the home to come together and the girls who will be in the home. It has been crazy how quick the time has gone but I just wanted to thank everyone who has supported and helped me through this time.

I think Winnie the Pooh said it perfectly:

"What day is it?" asked Pooh
"It's today." squeaked Piglet.
My favorite day." said Pooh.

Power of Prayer

Just for a little update to start: Things are going well financially for my trip. I believe I’ve raised more than half of what I need if not more. My spaghetti dinner made $1,010 and was a really big success. I have another event May 19. It’s a benefit concert at Lampeter Church of the Brethren at 6:30pm. Thanks everyone for all your support!  


It's funny how God works sometimes. I've been trying to figure out what to write about. I'm not very good at this blogging thing. So I sometimes won't write for awhile because I don't always know what to say. But I've found that as I write God uses what I write to teach me. I tend to write about the thing that I need to hear the most or the thing I need the most. What do I need the most now? PRAYER. I've been missing out recently on my prayer and quiet time. I keep going and going and don't take time to stop and listen to what God is telling me. I'm scared of what he's going to tell me. Fear has really been gripping me lately. I'm afraid of what's to come, I'm afraid of the unknown. It's stopping me from experiencing God now and now is when I need him most! So how do I change? How do I go from busy, busy, busy, to just being and listening to what God is saying? Saying no to doing thing? Getting up early in the morning? making some sort of routine to take that time to listen and pray. And it's not just praying for me but praying for the other girls going with me, for the girls over there that we'll be working with, for Swaziland, etc. It's so much bigger then me. Also, I need pray partners. I need people to be specifically praying for this trip and what God is doing! I can't do it alone and would love for anyone who is willing to pray for me and the trip! I've been amazed by how God has provided for me for this trip and how generous and supportive people have been. So I know God's hand is guiding me and leading me in each step of the way! 


 ^"Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Speak Up!

You ever wonder why certain things happen, why God puts you in a certain situation, or why God leads you in a certain direction. I keep wondering what He is doing and how this is going to change me and those girls over in Swaziland. Part of me hates change with a passion, not knowing what is going to happen next can be scary. But the other part of me is beyond excited for this experience. This whole experience has kind of been a dream of mine for a few years now. This is what I want to do with my life, work with girls who have a history of abuse and have a hard home life. I want to help these girls realize they have a voice and what they feel and want matters. Proverbs 31:8-9 says “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” We are called to be advocates for these people. I am called to SPEAK UP for those girls, to not let them go unnoticed. Hosea’s heart’s (the organization I am going with) mission speaks to this. “We exist to empower the girls of Swaziland to achieve freedom from sexual abuse and hope for a better future by serving their physical, emotional and spiritual needs through a holistic, restorative process.”  My prayer is that God would use me and the others going this summer to change hearts and reveal God’s love to these girls, that they may be able to experience it themselves.