Choosing Joy and Courage!!!! (Week 8)

People have been saying to me “you're so brave for doing this (going to Swaziland) on your own” or “you are crazy for going to Africa for a year!” Etc. I've just kind of brushing the comments off, knowing that this is where God called me to be and I didn't have a second thought really. I mean it took me a weekend to decide if I was going to come for a year or not. But this week has been hard. I think I am finally starting to realize how hard this year may really be. How lonely it will be. It's kind of funny because this week has been really busy so you would think that would keep my mind off of it but I think being busy made it worse, it gave me less time to spend time with God and rely on him for what I need.

Here is some things I did this week: Each morning I went to their grocery store here, called pick and pay, and got their leftovers from the day before to give to the boys home. Monday afternoon my Australian friend, Leann, who is a psychiatric nurse, took me to FLAS, an organization that when the girl's home is started will be a great resource. They do HIV/Aids testing, education, medical checks, etc. So I met a nurse there who was very encouraging and when we start things up I will be able to contact to get things set up for the girls in the home. Tuesday afternoon, we went to one of the boy's home with the younger boys and made cards with them. On the inside of the card they put things they thought they were good at or things they liked about themselves, then they decorated the card. These boys loved it! Some were shy and didn't want to show you and others were proud and wanted to you to see how well they did! I really enjoyed interacting with the boys! Wednesday and Thursday afternoons we met with the houseparents. Wednesday, we had a workshop, a follow up to our corporal punishment workshop the week before. We talked about communication with the kids. It went okay. It is a slow process in changing the belief and understanding of anyone and that is how you have to take it in these workshops. You have to know that it is going to take awhile for things to change! Thursday's meeting was with Alban, who I work with, Father Larry, director of MYC, and some other guy (I can't remember his name whoops!). But it was on policies that MYC need to be following and how the boy's homes need to be run. It was nice to hear from the head guys because it was similar to things we had talked to them about in our workshop.

On another note, one of the days myself, Alban, Leann, and one of the boys did a home visit! We went to his grandmother's home, who turned out to be his grandmother's sister. The boy had lived with him for 5 years and she couldn't remember his name. She drank a lot and she couldn't remember a lot about the boy or his situation. She didn't ask where MYC was located and when the boy was asked if he wanted to stay for 2 days to see how it would go he said no. This was really hard to watch and hear. For that little boy to sit there and listen to all of this and to hear his grandmother say she couldn't remember his name and he had lived with her for 5 years. It was heart breaking!

So, with this week being so busy and feeling very alone, today some of the kids I had met four years ago came and visited me. Which was great! I spent most of the morning and some of the afternoon with them. At about 2:30 they all left but one. Ayanda, she's 16 years old. She and I hung out until about 5:30. It was exactly what I needed. She is a wonderful girl. So encouraging and uplifting, even if she doesn't realize it. She shared the story of her life with me. It was a lot to take in but it made me realize that here I am feeling lonely and other things when she has every right to feel the same thing, and I'm sure at times she does but she chooses joy! She decides that she is going to happy and share that with others! It was so eye opening and so encouraging. She is so wise and smart for only being 16! I truly admire her and the courage she has to be who God has called her to be! So, my goal for this coming week is to choose joy, to take risks, and be courageous!!!!  

Week 7

What can I say about this week? It had it's ups and downs for sure! But I think looking back it was a good week...I think! Monday and Tuesday were low key not a lot going on. I worked in the office on paperwork and such and went to McCorkindales, the orphanage affiliated with MYC. Each month we do monthly updates on the children. We talked with the children, the house parents at their home, and their teachers to see how things are going and if there are any problems that need to be addressed. So, the beginning of the week, Alban and I went to McCorkindales to interview the children and the house parents. I really enjoy going there. The children are great and it's a very family oriented place.

On Wednesday, Leann, a psychiatric nurse from Australia who is volunteering with MYC for the month, myself, and Alban held a workshop on corporal punishment and alternative ways to discipline children for the houseparents of the boy's homes and teachers. We had about 12 of them show up. At first, I felt as if it was very disheartening. I was very offended and shocked by some of the things that were said during the workshop. There was one comment that was very offensive towards white people. (I don't want to share the comment or who may have said it for confidential reasons and just it's not needed to be shared for me to make my point) It raised a lot of feelings in me that made me wish I wasn't against corporal punishment! I have never experienced that kind of racism before, where it was directly targeting me and it was very untrue to who I am. A lot of other comments about corporal punishment and beating your child were said and just surprised me. But after the meeting and after thinking it over and venting about it, I started to realize the positives of it all. First of all, this is how they were brought up and haven't had any real education about the effects of it. So, they don't know any different, one talk won't change their thinking completely. It's a process. It'll take time since it's been ingrained in them since they were little. Also, some of them were really wanting to know alternatives to just beating the children. They obviously didn't and don't have the education to know what else they could do and I saw some of them truly taking in what was said in the workshop. So even though in the moment it was very frustrating and disheartening, looking back it was a start to a change. We have two more weeks of meeting and hopefully God will continue to work in these people's hearts.

The rest of my week was stress free. I did some more paper work on Thursday. Then, Friday I started working on things for the girl's home. I am starting to think about how the girl's home should be run. What kind of things do we need in place before the girl's come into the home? What will we do when they first come? What kind of programs will we do with them when they are settled in the home? Who will be responsible for what? Etc. It actually got me really excited for this girl's home to be renovated and to get things rolling. It's going to be a lot of work to get the girl's home up and running but I know God has a great plan for these girls. I just need to trust Him and let Him lead!  

God's Love

This week was a nice relaxing week. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary or anything exceptionally exciting. But I had some good conversations and God revealed himself more to me this week then in past weeks. Maybe because it was a slower week I had more time to actually listen to what he was saying. Sunday, I went to church where this American family had shared they had been going. I met the family while the other 5 girls were here in the first month. We bought purses from her and the organization they are working for. She found out that I would be staying behind while the rest went home and was very generous and told me to call her if I ever needed anything. So I asked where they went to church and was able to go on Sunday. I also met a young couple from America at the church as well who would be here for the year. It's awesome how God works and the connections he has given me.

One of the days this past week I went to McCorkindales, which is an orphanage run by Manzini Youth Care. Another volunteer from Australia is here for the month and was going to talk with a few girls there so I tagged along. I ended up having a really good conversation with one of the older girls at the home. I believe she said she is 19 years old. We talked about life and what we liked to do and other random things. But what struck me was towards the end of our conversation we were talking about her life and I was asking her questions about her past and she was pretty open with me. She said that she normally would cry when she thought or talked about her past but God has made her stronger. She said that her past was her past and she was sharing and being more open with it and God was making her stronger. That for me just struck me hard. She had just met me and there she was sharing her life with me and testifying that God has given her the strength to deal with the things of her past and the hard times in her life. It was very encouraging and very uplifting.

The rest of my week was quiet and not a lot happened other then being in the social welfare office and doing paperwork for the boys homes, however God has been continually reminding me in little ways of his love and sharing his love with the people of Swaziland. I have been reading the book The Barbarian Way, which is a really good book. It makes you think. But it has been talking about having this untamed faith and living fully in communion with God. I've realized that I have been afraid of what God will have me do if I fully let myself be used by Him. But I need to be totally open to what he has in store because I could miss out on something that could change others lives or my own.  

Week number 5

This week went by so fast! I don't even know where to begin. I guess at the beginning of the week! So on Monday morning at 7am the five girls I came with left for home. It was a very sad goodbye but I jumped right into my day and didn't have much time to think about the fact that I no longer had a wonderful support system surrounding me. But I have found that I am still strongly supported by them and so many others! I am feeling very blessed to be here and know how many people are praying for me back home! I felt very welcomed into the other volunteer house. They have been great! So my week: it was very busy, as I said I jumped right into working with the social service office at Manzini Youth Care, which is one guy by the way. But I've really enjoyed it. It's a little different from the states but the general concepts and social work believes are very similar. I am working with the boys homes right now. Getting to know the boys and do monthly updates for them. I've been talking with the teachers as well about the boys. I am also taking some of the boys to therapy on Monday's and Friday's, which I really enjoy because I get to talk with them and with the counselor and get to know them better!
On another note: on tuesday, I took Tenele home to her mother and step-father. (I believe I shared some about Tenele in past blogs but to find out more go to Hosea's Heart website and find Mary-Kate's blog). To give a brief overview of the situation. Tenele is about 17 years old and was living with a boyfriend who didn't treat her well. She had a baby with him about 8 months ago, who by the way is adorable. So in a past blog, I talked about going with Mary-Kate to a home visit to Tenele's parents' house. From that we came to the conclusion that Tenele would return home. So on Tuesday, I had the privilege to take her home! It was beautiful thing to see how happy and joyful she was to be home and to see her mother's face light up when she saw her and her granddaughter. It made my day :)
Lastly, Friday I had a meeting with some of the people at MYC for the girl's home. We went to the home and went over what renovations need to be done. It was a very productive meeting and the home seems to have great potential! It looks like they will try to get it done in the next month or two! So I am praying that it will only take that long! In the Swaziland culture, things tend to take a lot longer then what they say it will. So prayers that the home will be a priority and get done but get done well, would be appreciated!
God is good! It has been a good week! It has been an adjustment being on my own and not traveling as a group, but as I said God is good and has give me things to do and people to connect with! I am very excited to see what God will continue to do here and in my life!