Trust in Him

So I realized it’s been a few weeks since I last wrote a blog. I have been trying to figure out what to write about and I’m still not sure. I decided I would just start writing and see where that leads me… June is coming up faster then I thought it would and I’m feeling stuck and afraid of what’s to come. As I learn more about what I’m going to be doing and the responsibility I will have, I continue to wonder if I can do it. But it’s not really about me is it? It’s about those girls and what God has called me to do. God has this planned for me. He’s not going to leave me high and dry. It’s so easy to get caught up in the lies that I’m not good enough and to doubt God’s call. I have to constantly be telling myself that God will give me what I need to do what He has called me too. He isn’t going to fail me! I continue to doubt and worry though. I’m afraid of letting God control it because I don’t know what is going to happen. It’s really a lack of trust in Him isn’t it? But he’s never failed me before, why would he now? It’s like this constant battle within me, believing in those lies or believing what God says. Obviously, God’s truth is the right way but it’s easy to get lost in the lies if you don’t have your eyes on God. All this makes me think of John 8:31-32 which says: ³¹ “Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teachings, you are really my disciples. ³² Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’” It’s like I said keeping my eyes on God (verse 31) will help me know the truth (verse 32). I’ve found that if I don’t talk about what is bothering me it eats me up inside but letting it out frees me from its bondage. I don’t know if this all made sense since I didn’t really plan it out but I hope that God’s power and truth will shine through it. He is faithful, trustworthy, powerful, healing, and so much more. He will set you free if you let him. You just have to Trust Him!

GOD IS FAITHFUL!!!!!!

"Be true and real to who God has called you to be. Don't let others stop you in your pursuit of what God is calling you to. Be faithful in your response to His call because God is being faithful to you! He loves you!" I wrote that little letter to myself a few months ago at Saturate (a young adult ministry at a local church). I received the letter right before Christmas, I don’t know why but I never really looked at it. The other morning I was going through some of the stuff in my room and I found the card. It was such an encouragement. I have been struggling, as I wrote in my previous post, with all the things I'm going to be missing while I'm gone and just having a lot of emotions about leaving. I had a really creepy dream the night before and woke up feeling not right, like the dream was demonic or not of God. So I prayed against it and opened the bible app on my Ipod because I couldn’t get rid of that feeling. The verse that came up when I opened it was Matthew 16:16 “Simon Peter answered, ‘You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.’” It was exactly what I needed. God IS faithful and has been faithful through everything even when I don’t realize it. He’s been faithful in continuing to work in me; changing me to be more like Him; and having everything fall into place for me to go to Swaziland.  I've raised just about $2,000 in a little over a month for my trip! God is truly faithful and He continually reminds me of that! 

And it all begins...

As I’ve been preparing for my trip to Swaziland, Africa. God has been guiding my path in each step I’ve taken. For those who don’t know. I am going to work with a girl’s home for girls who are at risk for entering prostitution. I leave the end of June and am there for an entire year. God has been so faithful over the past couple months as I have learned of this opportunity and decided to go. It just astounds me at how God works, how each event led up to me saying yes to this adventure. With the awesomeness of this experience comes with giving things up, such as leaving my home and everything I know. I have been realizing lately how much I will be missing out on when I am in Swaziland. Holidays, birthdays, weddings, births, everyday life with the people I love and care for. It has been a struggle accepting everything I’ll be leaving behind for a year. I’ve been freaking out a bit lately with all this coming into realization. I continually have to be asking God for peace or having someone tell me it’s going to be okay. I know this is all apart of God’s plan; it can just be over whelming at times. I pray that God continues to work in my life in the next five months to prepare me and give me the tools I need to help these girls. He has given me great people in my life that have been such an encouragement through this process! I appreciate everyone so much who has supported me in this next step in life. I plan to hopefully update my blog every few weeks while I’m here in the United States and when I get over there to update it every week or every other week depending on what my schedule looks like. Thanks everyone for your prayers and support!!!!